The Grocery Store Adventure

By Hannah Bernstein

As I return from my run to the grocery store, I felt inspired to write about how my family acquires our weekly rations.

My dad and I begin by suiting up for battle (or Kroger). For those who haven’t recently suited up, let me explain the intricate process. First, you must wear clothes you aren’t looking forward to wearing after your adventure. My armor usually includes a sweatshirt or t-shirt and some leggings or sweatpants. Next, you must pack all of your weapons. My weaponry includes lots of reusable shopping bags, a pack of wipes to wipe the shopping cart, and the steering wheel with, hand sanitizer for after you dispose of your gloves and for any other sanitization required, and lastly some gum. Side note, no one told me that when I was going to wear a mask, I would be able to smell my own coffee breath. Finally, you put on your gloves and mask, enter your carriage, and drive to the battlegrounds.

When you have arrived at the battlegrounds, I would recommend parking away from the other warriors because exiting/entering your carriage near the other warriors does not abide by the 6-foot social distancing rule. Next, you grab a shopping cart. Kroger has been sanitizing its inside carts so you do not need to slay the virus with antibacterial wipes when you grab a cart from inside the store. Now, you can finally begin your shopping.

Entering Kroger’s, the produce aisle is the first area for customers to shop at. However, this is also where the majority of the humans populate. Dodging human contact, while grabbing your produce and maintaining social distancing is a hard task for any warrior which is why I would recommend parking your cart in a central location for you to return to. Then you have the mobility to avoid people while grabbing the fruits and veggies your body needs to stay strong during this pandemic.

Once you have finished all of the shopping and packing your rations into your reusable shopping bags (save the turtles!), you return to your carriage. After loading your carriage, you must dispose of your gloves in a TRASH CAN (littering is not condoned). Then, bring out your extra special hand sanitizer and clean your sweaty hands. Next, you need to disinfect your carriage’s handles, steering wheel, and phone because those have all been exposed to the virus. Finally, you may undock your carriage and return home where you should sanitize yourself immediately.

Congratulations warriors! You have survived your adventure for this week.